I’ve been wondering lately, about the degree of truth to be found in the old, and somewhat overused adage of trusting your gut. My own seems to be relatively unreliable. I can’t even count on it to tell me when I’m actually hungry, let alone to serve as my guide when making decisions that vary in degrees of importance.
When do we know we’re making the right decision, and for the right reasons? I seem to have a rather remarkable knack for justifying whatever it is I happen to be doing at the moment, and seeking validation from people, places and things I know will confirm my particular path at the time, while equally avoiding the people places and things that will cause me to doubt.
I don’t necessarily think I’m alone in this concern. I think we’ve all been spectators to the stunning mistakes friends have made, knowing full well what they’re in for. But, we recognize that this is their path, and they need to travel it to learn what lies ahead, and to gain the wisdom to choose a different direction the next time around. Why isn’t it so easy when it comes to our own decisions?
I’d like to think that as we get a little older, our needs mature a little, too. I’d like to believe this is why I took leave of someone willing to make it his life’s work to cater to my every need. A few years ago, hell, maybe even a few months ago, spending time with someone who wanted to eat, sleep and breathe all things Heather would have made me a very happy lady indeed. Now I’m quite sure it doesn’t. What I’m not entirely certain about is the validity of the things I do feel are important. Does it matter that someone spends hours watching television every day if he never forgets to call, ask how my day was, and always wants to be with me? Does a lack of ambition really factor significantly into the grand scheme of things if he knows exactly how many freckles I have on my nose and tells me, as I’m scarfing down cheese cake like I haven’t seen food in a month, that I eat like a rabbit?
Sometimes, I just don’t know.
5 comments:
If you were seeking validation with this post, I'll step up and be that unknown validator... because doesn't it work just as well when it's coming from strangers?
Anyway, without knowing of the facts but the ones you mention here, I agree with your decision. I had a boyfriend like that once. It was sweet... for a week. But how is that a reciprocal relationship?
Or were you raised to be a deity?
Thought not.
Thanks Isabel, that made me laugh. And no, you're absolutely right. Having someone cater to your every whim just gets irritating, even though when we didn't have it, we wanted it more than anything! Thanks for your thoughts.
you do know - it's just with all the Sheila's out there, we're taught that having a guy is what matters, not having the right guy. Keep your eye out - he's out there somewhere and when you find him, you won't question the decision anymore!
Thanks, MI. Here's to hoping!
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