I do not consider myself a religious person. I have had fleeting moments of what I would call an increased sense of spirituality, but even those have been tinged with guilt, as I only seem to search for something bigger, all-knowing, or other-worldly when I'm hurting or confused.
And so, yesterday afternoon, as I found myself walking rather aimlessly around in the hot sun in the California foothills, wondering how exactly I got here, I felt that creeping sense that maybe (hopefully?) a good deal of this is out of my control anyway, and that somehow, some time (hopefully soon?) I will find myself propelled forward and away, to a new chapter in my life. Maybe a better one.
But I have to say – whoever it is who's in charge up there, I don't know if there's been a shift change, a maternity leave, maybe? Perhaps you're new at this, and I can make allowances, but just so we're clear, things haven't been going so shit hot down here, and so, maybe, when you get a chance, you could sneak another quick look at my file?
Because I'm pretty sure, although I guess you're the expert, but I'm fairly certain this isn't the way it was meant to go.
6 comments:
Hmm...
What are you doing in California?
If you need to get a drink and you are near, say San Francisco, send me an email.
The first of the ‘4 Noble Truths’ which Buddha taught was ‘Life is suffering’. That once we truly understand and accept this, then life is no longer difficult. Because once we reach that conclusion the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. Facing our problems and fears makes us stronger and helps us grow but it is a very painful road to take, one that not many people are willing to go down. Instead, many will try and find an easy way out, making themselves and others believe that their life, their relationship, work situation, etc… is all good when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. But the substitute itself ultimately becomes more painful than the legitimate suffering it was designed to avoid. Everything happens for a reason but finding the meaning of the lessons to be had from our experiences isn’t always easy to decrypt, heck most times it seems down right impossible to do. Yet it is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has meaning. Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom, indeed, they create our courage and our wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually.
So in the end maybe we’re the ones in charge. But all that is a lot easier said then done isn’t it…
I've had similar conversations with several people lately...
I was raised ultra-religious...now I don't know what, if anything, I believe when it comes to a Higher Power.
I'm inclined, however, to believe there's no Karma...there's no Man in the Sky looking out for me...there are four billion other "files" for him/her/it to look at, and a couple billion of those folks are fighting each other for bags of rice.
Sometimes life is so grand you can hardly stand it...sometimes so awful you wish it would end...frequently smack dab in the middle and there's no true joy or misery, just existence.
For what it's worth, you're not alone in this, so even if your file is never pulled out of the in-box, there are a ton of people out here who have never met you but want nothing but the best for your life.
Noah, you should be citing Scott Peck as a source for your entire post. Otherwise it's what I believe they call 'plagiarism.'
Amen - I think.
this is in reference to dead on impact
http://cursingreality.blogspot.com/
check it out, or not
its a free country
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