I went to a conflict mediator training session this past weekend. There were eight people in the group. Some old, some young, some wrinkled, some fresh-faced. Some well-dressed, others shabby, some smiling and bright, all of us waiting expectantly for the animator to provide us with some sort of indication or direction as to how the day would start off.
So, paperclips.
We were each instructed to select as many of the tiny tools as we wished, in order to create some sort of artistic display. Some members of the group were incredibly creative, blowing my simple-minded spelling of the word ‘Hello’ right out of the water. We then learned that for every paperclip used, we would have to tell the others something about ourselves. (At this point, I began to desperately wish I had gone for a simple, hi).
Blessedly, I didn’t have to go first. A girl sitting to my immediate left did. I expected her to launch into the typical, “I work here, I studied there, I live here.” But to my surprise, and only mine, she didn’t. Instead she spoke of her faith. Of her love for nature. For her neighbours. For her belief in herself and the universe around her. She spoke of not being afraid of death, as she is so certain of a beautiful afterlife.
And as we went around the table, I became increasingly shocked, and impressed, that no one, no one, spoke of what they did for a living, what neighbourhood they live in, what kind of car they drive, of what their husbands do. Instead I learned of depressions and delights, of battles with food and diets. Of children and miscarriages, of weddings and losses. I heard of personal beliefs, of fears, of failures and pride, of wrinkles and laugh lines.
It may be simple, but that afternoon changed something for me. I am not an editor. I am not a student. I don’t live in Pointe Claire and I don’t drive a car and I don’t have a degree. I don’t have ten pounds to lose and I don’t hate my hair.
I am a daughter. A sister. A friend. I am a lifeline. I am happy and at times desperately sad. I am excited and I can be terrified. I am love and I am loss. I am a million things in this world and not one of them has anything to do with any of the things I, for a long time, thought made me who I am.
And so, it begs the question. For me, and for all of us. Who do you think you are?
8 comments:
It would start off with "work" -- honestly it seems for the past few years, that's all there is to me. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes ya wonder...
I.. Am... CUSTARDMAN!!!
In this moment, I am sure, uncertain, confused, awestruck, aware and 32. I know most but still very little. I hurt, I smile, I am soo terrifyingly torn. I'm fearful. I love.
Husk -I suppose when your work has something to do with taking gorgeous photographs, it's definitely not a bad thing!
At this moment, I am inspired to have a think on this. Thanks much for that.
oh that instead of introducing ourselves with a "Hi, how are you?" we introduced ourselves with, "Hi, who are you?"
That's so great that a group of people were willing to open up like that - and I bet there were a few brave souls that kind of set the tone by going first.
I love this question. I am a dreamer, first and foremost. I am an aunt who is more than a little taken with my newest nephew. I am a sister and a daughter and count my blessings every day to be those things in the context of my family. I am compassionate. I am sometimes a bit too much of an ADD case and come off as clueless. I am a work in progress. I am far, far, far from perfect. I am thankful. I am full of hope that I am something more than I think I am.
it's a privilege to be in an environment, if only temporary, that feels comfortable enough to show who you are and not who you want people to see (or even use them as witness to become someone you'd rather be).
i've no idea. if i were my actions, i'd be pretty inert, like a piece of half-eaten cafe carrot cake we're always compelled to put in our bags for later. if i were my thoughts, i'd be a flying tree-dolphin with a strong sense of vigilante justice and outstanding credit rating. because these two things meet in reality, i'd say i'm a dreamer stuck in life or a lifer stuck in a dream. like MI, i am becoming.
drat, i don't think i can answer this question. good one H!
me?
a very good runner.
ro.
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