I got an e-mail this morning from someone I dated very briefly last winter. We parted amicably, and so to see a message with his name on it in my inbox wasn't surprising, as we had made very casual plans to see each other some time in the next two weeks or so, before I head off to BC. I had to cancel those very same plans this weekend, and felt no real sense of urgency to reschedule, which was why the content of his message this morning struck me as so bizarre.
Mmmm there is something in particular I wanted to talk to you about. I have seen a therapist a few times since our relationship ended, and one of the things we talked about was you. I thought it might be insightful for you to hear some of the things that I took away from those conversations. Don't worry. I don't think it would be an unpleasant conversation for you...perhaps a little bit uncomfortable at worse, but there is also a chance you might find it...hmmm...educational *lol*.
That being said, I am not sure if I am feeling an urge to talk with you more for my benefit or your own. Well...I'll leave it to your judgment to decide if you have time for a talk. I suppose I could just write you a letter instead.
It amazes me the impact you can have on someone's life, when taking leave of their company brought you nothing less than a sheer sense of relief. It leaves me stunned that a four-week period in my life I can barely recall the details of, and am not particularly interested even in revisiting mentally, could have prompted someone to spend even five minutes worth of a therapy session discussing.
And yet, the reason for my amazement, and subsequent sadness, is the realization that some of the men who have had the greatest impact on my own life, likely felt that same sense of relief when they walked out of my proverbial door. It feels so tragic in a way, that the surest way to hurt someone, is to feel indifferent towards their pain, because that is the one thing you simply cannot help.
The heart, as they say, does not lie.
7 comments:
You never do know, do you? I mean, I have talked to my therapist about all sorts of people, some in passing, some in depth-but I would never think to contact that person and tell them that I have something insightful to give them. That's just weird.
But if this is who I think it is, I am not surprised-as three years later I remember every detail.
Uberfrau - amen. Even when my therapist referred to someone in my life as a 'burning narcissist' I refrained, with some degree of difficulty, from phoning and telling him.
And yes, you do know who it is. I'll be sure to contact you in three years to let you know where my memory stands :)
I would love to have that kind of impact on someone.
Well on a positive note, at least he didn't give you another paper to read.
I am just blown away that a month could have been that big of a deal.
And ohh my god, the lols and smily faces? How about some free therapy- stop being so passive aggressive.
Arthur - it's so nice to hear from you! And while I agree, the impact is never made on the person we want to be keeping awake at night, it seems.
Uberfrau - small blessings, isn't it? You make me laugh.
Wow - all I can say is it sounds like this guy needs a bit more time in therapy. It sounds like he thinks he's struck on some insight into your soul versus his own - I think I'd be put off by that after such a short relationship.
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