A thank-you card

My girlfriends and I got to chatting the other night about the men in our lives (or total lack of them) and the impact they have all had on who we ultimately turned out to be. It turned out to be quite an interesting exercise, in fact. Of all the people who make up my world, my family, my friends, my co-workers, the people I volunteer with, the people I go to school with, from the woman who kicks and punches her heart out beside me in my Body Combat class, to the teenage kid in the Couche Tard downstairs who smilingly gives me change for my laundry every week, I think it’s safe to say that collectively, none of these has had such a big say in who I am as have the men I’ve shared my life with at different points along the way.

I’m grateful for these experiences. No, truly, I am. Sure I’ve had my heart broken a few times. I’ve broken a few, as well. But, as a relatively new member to the singles pool, I realize just how many things I’ve learned, and how thankful I am for those life lessons.

And so, here is a brief list of compiled thank-yous. I think it’s safe to say they all had a fairly large stake in who I call myself today.

Thank you for teaching me that I don’t need to be the loudest, flirtiest girl in the room to be noticed.

Thank you for showing me that being part of a relationship doesn’t mean I have to give up any part of who I am.

Thank you for showing me how to use a set of chopsticks properly.

Thank you for teaching me that respect, admiration and love aren’t necessarily bedfellows.

Thank you for teaching me not to take myself too seriously, or no one else will.

Thank you for teaching me that not everything is black or white. In fact, most things are confusing shades of grey.

Thank you for teaching me that absolutely everyone has something to offer.

Thank you for showing me I deserve to be brought flowers, to be walked to my door, to be wished sweet dreams.

Thank you for not saying anything.

Thank you for crying.

Thank you for teaching me that sex should be silly.

Thank you for showing me what matters.

Thank you for showing me that what I always thought matters, really doesn’t.

Thank you for teaching me I can get through.

Thank you for teaching me the best way to get over a hangover.

Thank you for making me feel like everything I had to say was important.

Thank you for the challenges.

Thank you for teaching me what I don’t want.

Thank you for having the courage to walk away.

Thank you for showing me that sometimes, hiding away from everything and everyone is more than ok.

Thank you for showing me how to make a kick-ass sauce for salmon.

Thank you for making me feel I had something to teach you.

Thank you for choosing me, but not needing me.

Thank you for turning everything I thought I knew on its head.

It made me search for new definitions.

I like the ones I found.

I found me.